So you just witnessed your team cap off a 2-minute drill drive with a beautiful fade pass to the corner of the endzone as time expires that results in the game-winning touchdown and a nice payout for you hitting the money line. Somewhere in the midst of a joyous celebration with your buddies that most closely resembles a pillow fight among pre-pubescent girls, you happen to glance at the television and see the altogether worthless sideline reporter catch up with the quarterback who has just been added to your “People I’d take a bullet for” list. In a matter of seconds this miserable bitch has turned your invincible hero into a bumbling moron or a conceded asshole. It’s completely unfair that reporters are allowed to catch these super athletes unprepared minutes after a huge triumph and expose their lack of education on national television. For example, “You’ve been facing a lot of scrutiny recently from the media regarding recent allegations claiming your involvement in a nightclub shooting where several people were wounded from torrents of gunfire from what police are calling an arsenal of semi-automatic weapons carried by members of your security detail; in light of these tumultuous events how were you able to prepare for tonight’s game? And how has your family responded to your suspect actions off the field and in what way were you able to persist in that last drive and lead your team to victory despite reports of serious contract disputes you’ve been having with the organization?”
About halfway through this ivy league hag’s monologue you can see the player actually soil himself. She might as well have asked him to describe in detail how to perform an appendectomy. This guy just exhausted himself for the last three and a half hours and now he’s getting grilled worse than an insurgent at Guantanamo Bay. This chick is using words that didn’t come in his Hooked on Phonics boxed set and now we get to watch him sweating like Mel Gibson in a synagogue. This is the only reason this whole sadistic ritual is bearable.
Football is not the only sport where this happens. How ridiculous was it to watch track & field events during the summer olympics and watch that douchebag reporter interview the winner of each race approximately 30 seconds after they finished. These runners hadn’t even caught their breath yet and were expected to answer questions about what this moment means to them. If you want to interview athletes, fine. But keep those interviews in the press room where they belong, and where adrenaline can’t create an extremely awkward moment for everybody. On field post game interviews should be banned and sideline reporters, Grow Up.
